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I’m not sure if I’m the only one who feels this way, but sometimes, as a stay-at-home mom, I feel ignored, looked over, and not appreciated. Once your first baby is born it can kind of feel like you’ve been dumped in the garbage for good. You start to resent your husband for getting out of the house for going to work, for having guy time or even getting out to appointments alone. You start thinking nasty thoughts about the lack of motivation of those around you. How no one can understand how much work you do every day. You’re sick and tired of your relatives calling you or asking you at family get-togethers when you’re going to get “a real job”. I get it.
Here’s the thing: You can gripe, whine, complain, or nag at those around you about how much you do, how hard you work, and how much they should appreciate you, but in the end, no matter how they react, you’re not going to be more satisfied.
Your husband tells you how happy he is that you’re making breakfast every morning. He reminds you how nicely you make the bed. Your children tell you how much they appreciate you (I know, that’s a long shot.) It will feel good at the moment, but I can tell you it won’t be enough to keep you happily going and serving your family.
So if you’re like me, and there are days when you feel this way, know this:
1 | You’re Not Alone
At three am, while you cuddle your crying baby, watching your husband sleep, wishing you could sleep too, you notice a light on across the street as well; and all of a sudden you don’t feel so alone. There are thousands of stay-at-home moms who understand how you’re feeling. Although you cannot always notice these women around you, they certainly are. There are stay-at-home wives in your church, in your neighborhood, in your community. It’s sometimes an effort to find those women to surround yourself with, but in the end, the effort is usually worth it.
2 | You’re Making History (even though it does not feel like it)
In the Bible, we see woman after woman selflessly serving their families. They made sacrifices so that their husbands and children could do the will of God. Hannah (1 Sam 1-2:21), Eunice (2 Tim 1:3-5), and Mary mother of God (Luke 1:26-56) were all stay-at-home mothers. Their actions furthered the kingdom of God. They may not have been remembered as their children were but they were the reason that their children were able to do His will.
Outside of the Bible, we have our own generations to look upon. Does the smell of cinnamon bring you home? Does a flannel sheet remind you of a snow day as a child? The little things that give us nostalgia now were the work of our mothers. Their everyday actions are the reason we became the women we are. And in turn, our everyday actions will help our children turn into the adults they are meant to be. Remember that your motherhood journey is their childhood. Those ordinary moments where you feel overwhelmed and outnumbered are the same moments where they remember your love and care.
3 | You’re motivation shouldn’t lie in your family
I know you’re probably thinking, “Well if my motivation doesn’t lie in my family, where does it lie?” I’ll tell you. Your motivation lies with Jesus. Jesus has known you from your birth and knows how much you’re worth to His kingdom. He wants us to be happy and gratified in what we’re doing because it’s His way.
Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 tell us how we should live our lives as women of the Lord. It’s up to us to follow those examples. By serving our husbands and children at home, whether we get credit for what we do or not, we are serving the Lord.
Because our homes need to be cleaned, whether our family lives there with us or we live alone. Meals need to be made no matter how many people they are being made for. Everything we do for our families would need to be done even if we lived alone. We do not need to be motivated in our housework by our families. But we do need to be motivated by the Lord to serve our families. Everyone deserves a clean home, including yourself.
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 CSB
So when you’re feeling down, know that Jesus is there. Be grateful that you have a Savior who is encouraging you, uplifting you, and loving who you are as a wife and a mother.
Hello! I'm Amanda Elizabeth, creator of The Homemaker's Cottage. As a homemaker I have constantly felt the pull between old fashioned homemaking and the fast paced world we live in today. So I created The Homemaker's Cottage: a stress-free space between the old in the new, where there is no judgement and we can learn that homemaking can be relevant, easy and even enjoyable.
Join me on this journey to serve God, your family, and begin homemaking from where you are.
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