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I wrote this post four years ago when I was still married, but I wanted to share it again because I still believe that this is a wonderful practice for married couples.
I’ve got to be honest, I have been struggling a lot lately with two things. 1. Keeping on track on a day to day basis. 2. To stop wearing the pants in the family and to work as a team. But one thing that has really helped me with both of these things in my life: is to have weekly family meetings with my husband.
When we started having weekly meetings it became a tradition to do them after church, at our favorite restaurant in town. We would sit across from each other and put our phones away. Then we would be able to focus and pay attention to one another and the task at hand. And I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I have my favorite food or my favorite guy. Or maybe that we’re doing my favorite thing (organizing and planning). But I really really really look forward to these meetings.
Fun Fact: Did you know, that this blog was born at the first meeting as a couple that we had!
I’m sure you’re wondering though how having these weekly meetings help. And how weekly meetings can help you and your husband in these areas too. Well, I’ll tell you.
First off, I am a bossy pants. I was the little girl who would push the boys down in the playground and sit on them until they cried, uncle. Then I laughed. I was totally a little stinker as a kid and being one of the only girls in my immediate and extended family I felt I had to push my way through the rankings in order to make it. And as I pushed my way through, I learned how to manage myself, my finances and my things the way I want them, so when it came to getting married, I was not ready to give that up.
So now, I face the daily struggle of giving my husband control of our household, our finances, and our things. And that is so hard. But here’s how these meetings help.
1 | They Establish Us as a Team
By having these meetings it gives me the opportunity to tell my husband what is going on in the home and with our finances. I also take this time to compile my financial or other questions from the week and give him my opinion before he makes a decision for each one. It reminds me that God put my husband in charge and not me. And it helps me remember that when I make the decisions, things don’t always go as well as when we make them together. So I give my input and then let him do his part. It builds that healthy relationship between us and keeps me from making knee-jerk decisions.
2 | It Forces Me to Organize
The day before our meeting each week I will organize what projects need to be done around the house, chores for the week, the menu for the week, finances of the past week and projected for the next week, and more. It causes me to sit, and organize, which means clutter (at least paper clutter) is no longer a problem.
3 | It Strengthens Communication Between Us
By having these weekly meetings we are able to talk about our needs, and sometimes we even talk about how we would best like certain things communicated. For me, I wanted my husband to ask about the finances if he wanted to know, but for him, he wanted me to come to him with them. Major communication fail, just because we were raised differently and never talked about it. Tada, a simple fix!
If you’re just starting these meetings, I would make it a precedent to share how both of you communicate best and go from there.
4 | I Get to Spend Time with My Hubby
As a kid, when we had family meetings I absolutely dreaded it. My father would sit us around in uncomfortable chairs or on the floor and have us sit and talk for hours either missing supper or bedtime and I just hated it. Now, my husband and I make a point to make these fun. We head to our favorite restaurants to conduct these meetings, have a meal after church or before bed, and spend a few hours just talking. Now we both look forward to these meetings and enjoy them immensely.
So if you’re struggling with communication and organization in your home, it’s time to ask your husband for weekly meetings. It can really strengthen your marriage and put you on the same page, eliminating frustrations and hurt feelings, (even hurt bank accounts!)