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So I’ve talked about relationships in general, starting a relationship, and maintaining a relationship; today I want to talk about the mainly avoided topic of ending relationships.
We all know that good friendships are great, and great friendships are even better, but what about when the friendship just isn’t meant to be? Sometimes it’s time to part ways and it’s never easy. Here are some tips on making this awkward situation a little less awkward.
1 | Don’t gossip
When friendships start to go downhill, we often find ourselves doubting the friend; doubting their decisions, abilities, and sometimes just about everything they do. And that leads us to start talking…and talking and eventually it turns to trash talk, gossip, and plain old drama. So, if you know a relationship is going south, skip the drama and respect the other person no matter what they’ve done to you.
2 | Try to work it out
Sometimes when things seem to be going downhill, it’s not always the end. If you truly cherish this friend (or the qualities that this friend had when your friendship was first blooming) then try and see if there can be a way to talk to your friend. Are they doing something subconsciously that is irritating or hurtful to you? Let them know! The likelihood that they know they’re hurting you is slim to none! If they’re really your friend they will want to know.
3 | Don’t end a friendship through technology
This one can be hard, especially in the middle of a pandemic, but breaking off a relationship (of any kind) on social media, via text, etc it is impersonal. Period. It takes guts to actually go up to someone and say what you’re feeling, but do it anyway because really, that’s what needs to be done. Show respect for someone by taking this important step. I understand that this may not be possible, but if it is, try and break it off in person.
4 | End on a good note
One of the worst things you can do when ending a relationship is to end it on a sour note. I’ve been there, you’ve probably been there, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had that one relationship that ended in a fight, an ugly break-up…it happens sometimes but try try try to avoid it! We all know that looking back on a relationship that could’ve lasted years and had tons of good memories can be turned sour from the way the relationship was ended. If you can try to end the relationship without arguing, name-calling or backstabbing. Part ways as old friends and look to the road ahead.
5 | Understand their feelings
If you’ve tried every option with this person and things still aren’t working out, it’s okay to end it but understand that they may not have the same feelings as you. They might want to keep the friendship or be really truly hurt by your words. Let them know the honest reasons why you’re ending the friendship and understand that it may be very difficult for them.
Remember, relationships and friendships are hard to come by, evaluate if this friend is really worth losing, and realize that it’s okay if you choose to end a friendship; but please, do it with respect and kindness.
If you’d like to follow along with the rest of the series, you can click the links below: