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While there is a large population of stay-at-home homemakers, wives, and mothers; one population we fail to recognize are the working women whose hearts are at home. The women, who have to work two or three jobs, whose children have to attend public school. The women who don’t have the white picket fence or the loving husband. Are you one of those women? Because I am.
In 2014, when I started this blog, I had just left college and was engaged to my soon-to-be husband. I knew when I started the blog that I had a passion for being at home, and serving my family.
Fast forward six years. I’m now a divorced woman, with a child on the way. I work two full-time jobs in mental health and am rarely home.
When I was at home, my passion for homemaking and bringing back a dying art form was so important to me. Now, I know that that passion still exists, but my ability to live that passion has diminished severely. And that’s been a stumbling block for me.
I felt like a sham.
Being able to write to others about homemaking from my past experience, while helpful, can often lead to me feeling like a sham. I don’t work from home, I don’t have a husband or children I currently serve, and I have virtually no time to practice homemaking.
But the other day, someone reached out to me to let me know that even though I didn’t have a Pinterest perfect life that I had value. Value in being a woman who understands God’s heart, and has a priority for my family and home despite having to work.
And while I strive very hard to not live or pretend to live a Patty Pinterest lifestyle; sometimes I want to be “normal” like others.
But here are some things us women, who don’t get to stay home need to remember.
Comparison is the thief of joy
For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. — Galatians 1:10 (CSB)
We cannot spend our lives comparing ourselves to other people, whether in real life or on social media. We were created uniquely, in God’s own image and nothing we say or do can change that.
We need to embrace who we are in Christ. Our uniqueness, our spirit, our tempers, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We need to focus all of those towards doing the will of God. Whether that be at home, or in the workplace.
You are where you’re supposed to be
It can be so frustrating when we know we want to be homemakers, we want to stay home, and having loving husbands and children. We want to have a big white farmhouse and live happily ever after.
Unfortunately for mot of us, it isn’t that way. We’re living lives we never dreamed for ourselves, working odd jobs, or in homes that we don’t want to be in.
But, there is hope in these unexpected places! The Bible tells us:
A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.
— Proverbs 16:9 (CSB)
While we can save our dream homes to Pinterest boards, and make 5 year plans; God knows where we need to be and when we need to be there.
While I don’t love working two full-time jobs in mental health; I do recognize the gift God has given me by putting me there. I work with people from every walk of life on the daily, from all over the world, and I get to share my testimony of what Jesus has done for me, with them. I would not have had that opportunity had I stayed at home.
There is always a reason for why we are where we are, and we need to recognize that while it’s not always where we want to be, it’s always where we need to be.
Your present circumstances are temporary
For I know the plans I have for you” — this is the Lord’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. — Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)
God does not mean for us to be in this stage of life forever. Just as nature has its ever-changing seasons, so do we. Where you are in life now, whether it’s working, single, or childless, will most likely not be your forever. God has a plan for your life and hope for your future.
So, while you wait for your future, because all good things come to those who wait, make sure to make the most of the present and grow in God as much as possible.
How do you make the most of a season that you don’t want to be in? How do you take time to grow in God? Leave how you live God’s will for your life down below.
Hello! I'm Amanda Elizabeth, creator of The Homemaker's Cottage. As a homemaker I have constantly felt the pull between old fashioned homemaking and the fast paced world we live in today. So I created The Homemaker's Cottage: a stress-free space between the old in the new, where there is no judgement and we can learn that homemaking can be relevant, easy and even enjoyable.
Join me on this journey to serve God, your family, and begin homemaking from where you are.