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If you had told me a few years ago that I would soon be a divorced and childless woman, living on my own after going through extreme hardship, I would have never believed you. A few months ago, I would have never guessed that in a short amount of time, I would be testing my faith through a difficult adoption that I can’t see the end of. Many of my hopes and dreams never became a reality for me. I never thought I would be here in life. But here I am.
I am in the valleys of life somedays, and others I’m shouting from the mountain tops. Yet, no matter which place I rest, I rest in the arms of God.
While I did not plan for the life I’m living, God knew. God knew the work I would be doing, the people I would be seeing and the thoughts and feelings I would be having. Whether I like it or not, God has put this work before me; and no matter big or small, it is mine to do.
Instead of being a wife, mother, and homemaker, I am now a divorced woman, working two full-time jobs, and still embracing the homemaker and woman that God made me to be.
So what does ‘homemaking from where you are’ mean?
When I first moved into my now home, the walls were painted forest green and barn red. It was a bit scary. At first, I wanted to change everything at once. But after working non-stop and making little progress I learned to have some patience in making my house a home.
And over the last year, it has blossomed into a space that gives me peace and a sense of belonging. It started with little jobs, some paint here, decor there. Some new-to-me furniture, and a few Hobby Lobby trips. (Okay, maybe more than a few!)
Even though this was not my dream home, and despite the fact that this was not where I thought I’d be in life, I worked little by little at what God had put in front of me.
And in doing so I learned valuable lessons that God had been trying to teach me. I learned the value of hard work. My abilities and knowledge grew. I felt more confident in who I was and what I could do.
Even though I didn’t want to, by homemaking where God had placed me, I grew in His love and have become more of the person I think He wants me to be.
The question you’re probably asking is okay Amanda, but how can I continue homemaking from where I am?
Maybe you’ve lived in the same place your whole life, or maybe you move every few months. Maybe you have ten children or none at all. Whether you live in the city, the country, or under the sea, there is always a way to make your house into a home.
How can I start homemaking from where I am?
The easiest way to start is to really open your eyes to your home and family. Look at the needs that are going unmet. How are the attitudes of your children? Is your pantry filled with food for your family?
Meet the Little Needs
Look at your home with a guest’s point of view. There are so many things we miss when we live our day to day lives. We may not see the little things in our homes as we have become blind to them. So take a tour around your home and notice the unmet needs. Make a list and begin slowly working on these things that may be causing trouble or struggles for your family or yourself.
Now, look at your husband, your children. Are they happy? How can you address their emotional needs? The Bible tells us that a woman sets the tone for her household, (Proverbs 21:9 | Proverbs 21:19 | Proverbs 19:13 | Proverbs 31:10 | Proverbs 14:1). Take time each day to meet your own needs, so that you can sufficiently meet the needs of your family. It is important that you are not pouring from an empty cup. (Check out this #SelfCareSeptember Challenge.)
Whether you need to renovate your home as I did, or you have emotional projects to work on; start small. Great change has never come from doing it all at once. Like building a home, you must start one brick at a time.
Take time to invest in your home and your family with your time and effort. Spend a few minutes each day doing something that improves or brings joy to your home. Whether that’s baking some box muffins for breakfast instead of cereal, or putting a new essential oil in your diffuser. Doing something small each day will bring a great sense of comfort to your home.
Give yourself grace
I feel like I say this in every single one of my posts, but seriously. Homemaking from where you are can start in a place where you are feeling resentful, ungrateful, jealous, and unhappy. While you may try each day to have feelings of gratefulness and joy, they may not always come. Give yourself grace, and understand that while you may not understand the plans that the Lord has for you, He always has the best planned for you.
For I know the plans I have for you” — this is the Lord’s declaration — “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. — Jeremiah 29:11 (CSB)
There is so much joy in being a homemaker, and doing the work that God has set before us. Take heart, and let God wrap His love and grace around you as you do His work. Homemaking from where you are is an honor and an act of faith. Don’t lose hope in His promises, and continue to do His good work.